I had a very disturbing dream the other night.

I dreamt that I was in the living room with my grandma and she suddenly had a heart attack! She was clutching her chest and was breathless. I went into panic mode and everything, EVERYTHING that I had learnt from my first aid training went out the window.( So much for the refresher training courses I had all those years. ) All I could remember was the medication for her heart and I got them and thankfully, after taking them, she felt better, and all is well in dream world.

However, when I woke up, unlike most of my other dreams, I can still remember it vividly. That got me thinking, will I be able to perform the a CPR when required? Even though I have been trained and had practiced it at least once per year for the past 6 years. Am I able to administer it properly in the event that it is required?


Oh after googling it, I realised that there are so many steps I had forgotten ! For those who are interested in finding out more abt CPR , heres a link: Quick CPR guide 

This is a sad story of the tragedies a family had to go through living with a life threatening disease, the 'issues' that they have to face and the moral dilemma of the decisions that they have to make. I finished the book in 3 evenings after a full day of work and made myself even more tired by all the waterworks..

I am glad that I had read this book, mostly, in the privacy of my room. Where I can cry myself silly, without actually being a ridicule in public. I had foolishly took it out today as reading material on the commute and had more than once, fought hard to hold back the flood gates.

I am now hesitant to watch the movie in the cinema. Yet, I look forward to how the actors would portray the complexities of each character. Anyway, I think I would most probably rent the DVD and watch it at home.

No more crying in public. (Not that I do it often too.)

Eating Chicken Briyani and Indian Rojak at 1155pm for dinner is generally not recommended, ESPECIALLY if you are trying to lose your belly. I am having mixed feelings now, there is satisfaction underneath the waves of guilt now...

I went for my first driving lesson yesterday! And I think I am crazy to take up manual driving!! Whats with the clutch?? Why cant it be a button or something easier to control ?? I think I should aim to be my instructor's first few trainees every lesson... I can tell that he is visibily tired nearing the end of the lesson.. hahah its no wonder driving instructors are just are the second highest in terms of psychiatric disorders. Just after teachers..hehe

My boss advised that I should improve my good karma... so I can get better sales. Sigh, 

最近可能是伤感的电影看得多了，变得有一点多愁伤感，也变得比平时更小心眼了。有些事情，在许多人的眼里应该是小事，却一直摆在心上，迟迟不能释怀。反省后，觉得自己真的还不够成熟。就是觉得自己有时该注意的地方不够细心，该大方的时候却很小心眼。有时回想起来，会有一点点的讨厌自己。 哈哈。

在某个戏里，有这么一个说法：每天要不停的反省自己是否尽力了。

虽然听起来是那么简单的一件事，但是每一天尽力的做好应该做的事，尽力的去体谅别人，尽力的去充实过每一天， 并不是想象中那么容易。 却也不可以因为是件不容易办到的事，而糊里糊涂的过一生啊!

所以决定了，每天要反省！要加油！希望这一次不是又三分钟热度了。 哈哈。

Someone told me that 'The Notebook' is a very touching movie and suggested that I should watch it. After getting the movie, I realised that I had already watched it twice on HBO before, just that I did not know the name of the movie. BUT that did not stop me from tearing my eyes out.

It was so bad that at one point, I had to stop the movie and close my eyes as my eyes were so tired from the tearing... and after the movie, I was so affected that my eyes watered when I was watching the NDP....

Sigh, I am such a crybaby...

The movie got me thinking.. Is it even possible to have such a love in real life? Or is it playing out everyday around me, just that I did not notice it? Will I even meet someone that I am so sure that I want to spend my life with? that I  empties my whole heart for?

I should stop watching sad movies for a while.. I think I cried enough to last me till the rest of the year.

What am I doing up at 1.22am?

Do ulcers like to socialize? I think they do, just like pimples, they cannot be alone for long. They tend to hold parties, where ever they are.
I just hope the ulcer party in my mouth ends soon.

Tuesday - after a tiring session in the gym, I weighed myself : 74kg ( yay! Lost 2 kg!) I win!

And I promptly rewarded myself with a sumptuous dinner.

Wednesday - confidently weighed myself after gym again : 76 kg ( WTF???) Bobby caught up!!

Dejected, I went 85 market and ate oyster omelette, a bowl of 'bar chor mee and 1/4 of fried carrot cake.

Today - Avoided the weighing machine. couldn't gym due to aching muscles( or fats) .

Had chicken chop and chicken pie for dinner.

Tomorrow, the battle continues..... but somehow I have the feeling that the odds are against me....

Even after 10 years of practise, I still cut myself sometimes while shaving. Yesterday, I was in a hurry to leave the house and in my haste, I cut myself again while shaving. After wiping away the blood, I did the usual morning routine in double quick time and left the house.

I went for an appointment, took the train to the office, bumped into a friend on the train, walked to the office with a colleague. Yes, it was quite a day, bumping into so many people.

It was only after 1 hour in the office, when one of my colleagues told me that there are TWO big blood scab on my chin. -_-|||

I am very sure then, those people that I had met that morning, are definitely NOT my friends. They let me walk around like an idiot with two BIG SCABS on my chin!

Sigh.... there goes my pretty boy image ..

Bobby was born about 3 years back, he kfed on all the late night supper and junk food but he never did manage to get very big. Sometimes he will have a sudden growth spurt and threatens to make a PERMANENT and SIGNIFICANT presence. BUT I always managed to make him go away... just as easily as I let him grow...

Not long ago, just a few months before going to Hong Kong, I realised Bobby have been bulking up. I didn't take his growth spurt seriously, thinking that I could easily make him disappear like the numerous times before. Little did I know how wrong I was..

He preyed on my weakness in Hong Kong. Luring me to eat all the nice food, demanding to be fed even in the wee hours of the night. I fell for it , over and over and over again .... and by the time I realised it. It was too late.

Bobby had gained 4-6kg. He is quite proud of himself, making his presence known every chance he get. Everytime I sit down, he would wave at me. Everytime I stretched, he will peek out from his hiding place. Everytime  I bend down, he will hug on to me tightly, making it so difficult to bend.

I tried to go to gym more often, I even run more now! But everytime I go to the showers, Bobby will be mocking me! Everytime I look in the mirror, he will be laughing at me.

DARN YOU BOBBY I will NOT be defeated!!! I will remove you! even if it involve wrapping myself in cling wrap! Just you wait....